Felicia Mitchell is a survivor of stage 2b HER2-positive breast most cancers recognized in 2010. Make amends for all of Felicia’s blogs right here!
I’m not positive whether it is as a result of I added a scoop of caffeinated espresso to my two decaffeinated scoops or if I’m attempting to distract myself. Possible it’s a mixture of each. Plus, it’s spring. Spring cleansing occurs. As a breast most cancers survivor dealing with a collection of checks to discover an surprising change in my physique, I’ve by no means cleaned as a lot as I’ve these previous few weeks.
Scanxiety, whereas one thing survivors expertise, just isn’t what has preoccupied me most. In actual fact, after one of many scans, I let go of some nervousness about no matter will unfold, bizarre or not, with the method of exploring what’s up with this medical glitch. Carry the scans on! They’ll give me readability of thoughts and let me (or docs) repair something that must be fastened, if one thing must be fastened, or simply let what is going on go in the meanwhile.
Life after most cancers actually is a pleasure. To be life like, although, it comes with some challenges to be aware of uncomfortable side effects of therapy, potential uncomfortable side effects of therapy, potential metastases, new developments, and many others. Whereas I’ve gotten fairly good about taking among the feelings of surviving most cancers in stride, I’m a mere mortal. As a lot as I attempt to be constructive, I’ve my moments.
With the present scenario, earlier than I jumped into spring cleansing with the power of an individual certain and decided to depart no nook cluttered, I did what we are likely to do as of late. I turned to Web searches, together with exchanges with synthetic intelligence, as if I might discover a clue there earlier than my scans let me know the reality. I fell deep into the “what if” water. It could possibly be this? It could possibly be that? It could possibly be something, good or unhealthy or in between.
The second stage was to spend much less time on Web searches and extra time feeling upbeat and constructive. I mentioned to myself, “Effectively, you’ve gotten been given an additional 15 years. Think about that! You have got lived life.” Whereas considering a worst-case state of affairs, which in all probability occurs to individuals who have by no means had most cancers too, I started to really feel serene, as if I used to be getting the emotional response over with earlier than figuring out I wanted to have one.
The third stage was to really feel at peace with no matter would possibly come, even when that meant a return to the most cancers middle that I had simply graduated from. Realizing the most cancers middle from entrance to again, I knew I might handle anything I’d ever must handle, if I needed to. This is able to not be, as they are saying, my first rodeo. I’d be an outdated hand at no matter got here. If it got here. And wouldn’t it? Likely not. Nonetheless, after we are ready for scans to unfold and share the suitable data, our minds can go wherever, even there (and by “there,” I imply “the tip”).
Fortuitously, between scans, I’ve moved to my favourite stage, the one through which I clear obsessively. At some point I sawed up a big department that smashed a canine pen. The subsequent day I discovered the best way to dismantle the pen, bolt by bolt, pole by pole, to cart it to the recycling bin (all on my own) the identical afternoon. I seemed round the home. What subsequent? The sunroom got here first. Now my research is neater than ever. I’m additionally slightly embarrassed to confess I organized just a few household heirlooms to move down.
In the meantime, I watch for the following scan, the one that may guarantee me that every one is effectively, or not, no matter comes. Realizing I’m in good firm with different survivors who perceive makes all of it simpler.
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