Throughout Glioblastoma (GBM) Consciousness Week, Charlie Pearson shares the way it feels to be getting ready for his loss of life when he ought to have a lot life left to dwell…
I’ve all the time been the form of one who loves language. I like how phrases movement.
However today, I open my mouth and I’m left hanging, my thoughts whirring with the trouble of attempting to recollect what I need to say. After which I’ve to cease as a result of the extra I feel, the extra I really feel like I’m going to have a seizure.
A yr in the past, I came upon I had a glioblastoma (GBM) – an aggressive mind most cancers that comes with a prognosis of 12 to 18 months. And so now I discover myself having to consider the top of my life, when it looks like I used to be solely simply starting.
I’d been flying excessive at work, carving out a profession within the civil service. I’d moved to London from Essex and landed a promotion. It was a excessive stress surroundings however I thrived on it. Huge dinner events with buddies, nights on the opera and journeys to Europe with my accomplice, Ollie, have been high of my to do listing.
Charlie and Ollie at Munich Opera Home
Life was full and thrilling. However then I had a seizure on the tube to work one morning in July 2023. In a method, I used to be ready for it. I had suffered a seizure as soon as earlier than, aged 21, in 2019, and scans had proven I had a grade 2 astrocytoma. The information hit me arduous and I felt like giving up.
However after going by surgical procedure, an an infection and extra surgical procedure to reconstruct a part of my cranium, I felt a renewed lease of life. My medical crew have been sincere – the tumour would come again. But when there was no reoccurrence inside 4 years, it could take lots longer to return.
I made a decision I wasn’t going to waste a minute and threw myself into residing as if I didn’t have this illness.
And I nearly hit that four-year mark. However then, after what turned out to be my final vacation to Portugal with Ollie, got here the information that I had most cancers spreading throughout each side of my mind.
That complete time is a blur. An awake craniotomy, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. The therapy was completely terrible, I used to be violently sick. You wouldn’t put your worst enemy by it.
My hair fell out, the steroids made my face balloon and I nonetheless discover it arduous to look within the mirror.
And although I’ve completed my therapy, it’s clear I’ll by no means be the identical once more. My character has modified, I’m consistently battling fatigue and reminiscence loss and I’m simply overstimulated. I dwell at residence now so my dad and mom will help maintain me.
And but, I’m not executed with residing but. Although I can’t do the job I beloved anymore, I want one thing to rise up for. So, I’m hoping to start volunteering in a college, studying to kids and serving to them to fall in love with language too.
The one method I can get by the times and maintain going is to just accept my destiny. This mind tumour goes to take my life. It doesn’t appear proper to have to consider dying at 26, however I don’t really feel indignant. I’m truly very fortunate to be given the time I’ve with the folks I like as a result of I do know lots of people get much less time than me.
At a latest wedding ceremony with good friend Katie
I’ve written my will, informed my mum what I’d like for my funeral, chosen the songs to be performed and requested some particular folks to talk. These aren’t issues I anticipated to have to consider for a few years however in a method it felt good to get it executed.
Now I simply dwell within the second. Spending time with my mum, dad, twin brother Davey, Ollie and my buddies who’ve all been extremely supportive.
Charlie along with his dad and mom and twin Davey
My story will not be so long as I might have wished however by serving to to elevating consciousness of GBMs and the work that Mind Tumour Analysis does, I hope I will help forestall others from struggling the identical destiny.
If you happen to’ve been touched by Charlie’s story, you’ll be able to assist us discover a remedy by donating no matter you’ll be able to to fund the struggle towards mind tumours. Collectively, we are able to make a distinction. To make a one-off or month-to-month donation, please click on right here
Associated studying:
