When Cindy Mrotek and Katie Glenn turned caregivers for his or her dad and mom with cholangiocarcinoma, however they didn’t simply discover help, they discovered somebody who understood each concern, hope and uncertainty. Their friendship started lengthy earlier than loss and helped them navigate the toughest moments with out feeling alone.
Within the dialog, Cindy and Katie mirror on how sharing the identical expertise made every step extra bearable, from early grief to rebuilding life after. Their story reveals how highly effective it may be to search out somebody strolling the identical street, and the way a single connection can change into the sunshine within the darkest moments.
Transcript
Cindy, you and Katie related by means of a shared loss. How did that relationship assist you heal and really feel much less alone, particularly after the passing?
Cindy: Nicely, first I’d say Katie and my journey started earlier than the loss, and we skilled loss at completely different instances as effectively. As a lot as we had been hopeful and had nice hope when our dad and mom had been identified, despite the fact that statistics would inform us to not, we had been very hopeful, which is why we each sought second opinions and located one another, and located the inspiration.
We nonetheless had nice hope, however on the similar time, not less than in my expertise, Katie and I had been additionally experiencing the identical fears, type of grieving even earlier than the loss of life occurred collectively, like, “What’s going to occur in the event that they move away?” We had been a help system for one another even earlier than the end result we didn’t need, which was big. As a result of when, sadly, we needed to bury our dad and mom and honor their reminiscence, the ache didn’t go away, however it made it a bit of bit much less as a result of it’s uncommon to search out any individual who has walked precisely in your sneakers.
Katie walked my journey with me and skilled all the identical ache of dropping a mother or father only a few months earlier than I did. It’s uncommon to search out any individual who, I can actually say, walked in my sneakers. You don’t normally discover that occurring on the similar time. Now, once we discuss to sufferers, I can say to them, “Yeah, I’ve walked in your sneakers,” however that was eight years in the past. Katie was my companion in hope. She was my companion in grief. Now she’s my life companion, I really feel like. She has simply change into my individual due to the journey we’ve walked collectively (from hope to therapy to grief) and now we’ve celebrated life. Katie had a child after her dad handed away, so we’ve simply skilled all sides of life collectively throughout an earthquake, principally.
Katie: Cindy and I’ve traveled by means of so many alternative elements of this analysis collectively, and I at all times say that if I didn’t have our friendship and the friendships we’ve got fashioned with others by means of the Cholangiocarcinoma Basis, this could be such a lonely journey. Having a uncommon, aggressive analysis like cholangiocarcinoma enter your life is the loneliest feeling we’ve got ever felt.
Discovering the Cholangiocarcinoma Basis makes you’re feeling like you’re going by means of it with others. We did stroll that path collectively. We had been in a position to be a help to 1 one other. We had been capable of finding hope collectively. We had been in a position to undergo the darkest of days collectively, and any individual else understood.
We did stroll in one another’s sneakers and have any individual else perceive, even when our family members couldn’t perceive what we had been going by means of. Being the first caregiver at the moment, I describe Cindy as my gentle at the hours of darkness. It’s very darkish getting that analysis. There is no such thing as a gentle. There is no such thing as a optimistic in life at the moment, and it’s exhausting to carry on to any glimmer of hope. However if you discover a buddy like I’ve present in Cindy and … so many different individuals on the Cholangiocarcinoma Basis, they convey the sunshine, and also you understand you could get by means of it.
I usually say I don’t know if I’d have made it by means of with out them. I attempt to think about that: what would life appear like if we did navigate this by ourselves? If we didn’t have Stacie Lindsey and the Cholangiocarcinoma Basis that her household began, what would this appear like for us? It could not be an excellent place.
Cindy: Yeah, or others who’re simply experiencing it (and simply contrasting between the 2) my dad has a uncommon blood most cancers proper now, which really Incyte talks about on their Fb group. However it’s utterly completely different, as a result of cholangiocarcinoma is an unsightly most cancers. It destroys the person who you as soon as knew. They change into a shell of themselves due to how exhausting therapies might be on the physique, the load loss, how sick they get from this illness.
Navigating two completely different cancers which are each extraordinarily uncommon, I can say I really feel like with my dad’s most cancers proper now, I don’t want a Katie as a result of I’ve it below management a bit, and he’s nonetheless himself, and there aren’t as many issues as a result of there are extra therapy choices. However if you’re actually preventing for hope, which is what you’re doing for cholangiocarcinoma, you want that gentle (that little little bit of hope) which is what Katie, like she so eloquently mentioned, delivered to me as effectively. It’s our responsibility, our privilege, our honor, to provide a few of that hope to others as a result of it’s a scary analysis.
Transcript has been edited for readability and conciseness.
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