With clear scans after most cancers, Jacquline seemed ahead to spring — her favourite season.
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I’m approaching the fifth anniversary of my shocking analysis of sentimental tissue sarcoma in 2020. Here’s a journal entry I wrote on Feb. 15, 2022, to spotlight my expertise on the time.
Anybody acquainted with a CT scan — or any of these different photos of your insides — understands the importance of these phrases. When awaiting outcomes that may both speed up or pause your life and plans, that “maintain your breath,” takes on a brand new which means. Maintain off on shopping for these trip tickets. Maintain off on making a five-year plan. Maintain off on planning graduations, weddings and every little thing sooner or later. Maintain. Your. Breath.
Once I’m within the throes of scanxiety… or any nervousness, I consider considered one of two issues that maintain me from full-blown panic. With my PET scan in November, I used to be so nervous that I needed to ask the tech for some water. One hour. One small tube. Radioactive dye. No ma’am/No sir. It was scary… however he was form. “Here is some water. You are able to do this,” he stated. Kindness — pure kindness. These small gestures matter.
However, again to coping. My very first thing: years in the past, I noticed that the majority aircraft accidents happen within the first 5 minutes (or 300 seconds) of takeoff. That’s 5 minutes, or counting down from 100, thrice. I do it on most flights whereas considering “How the hell are we within the air proper now?” Or “That aircraft simply took a pointy left,” or “Really, let me shut the window.”
My second approach throughout scans is to sing the lyrics to the world’s greatest tune, “One Love” by Bob Marley. It’s common, we’re all linked and the tune’s lyrics provide a lot hope. Concentrate on the now, “One Love.” This might be over quickly. “One coronary heart.” You’re alive proper now. “Let’s get collectively and really feel alright.” Scans, limitless pokes and IVs don’t “really feel all proper.” Nothing about this actually does, however the lilting lyrics all the time calm me down just a bit bit.
Maintain your breath. One Love. Maintain your breath. One Coronary heart. Maintain your breath (machine whirring) “Give thanks and reward to the Lord and we are going to really feel alright.” Exhale.
The excellent news about dwelling your life three months at a time is that every little thing is pressing however wanting at the start of the fourth 12 months of this journey, I actually do really feel “alright.” Drained. Yup. Fatigued. Certainly. New coiffure (going platinum grey — storm, maybe). However feeling “alright.” I’ve a breath to breathe… and that’s sufficient.
For now, my scans are clear (“Give thanks and reward to the Lord”…whew). Some scarring in my lungs and coping with some negative effects from my upkeep chemo (I can’t keep in mind something…unlucky for somebody as soon as nicknamed the “human pc…” though this was when computer systems have been a lot slower).
My favourite season spring is upon us, and I’m so glad that for the primary time since 2019, I can get pleasure from and respect this season. I additionally get to have a good time one other birthday. I didn’t, at my analysis, suppose I might get this far. However nowadays, I really feel… all proper (“irie” for many who know).
This story was written and submitted by Jacqueline Greer. The article displays the views of Greer and never of CURE®. That is additionally not imagined to be meant as medical recommendation.
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